Egocentric Validation


I don’t know why getting my kid’s report card is such a validation for the kind of parent I am, but it is.  I want it to be properly reflected that I spent a shitload of time on homework, required readings and school projects.  All of these things are a major pain in the ass for me, as none of them ever result in happy time and they take away my time that could be spent making pointless Facebook posts, reading trashy crime novels or having a drink.  I feel that I spend more time making sure my kids are completing school work that I do playing with them or just having fun.

 

You should have seen me yesterday waiting to see report cards, it was apparent that this is about me and not my kids.  I was actually excited that I was subbing at the kid’s school, as it kept me occupied for the day and I got to see their report cards a whole 5 minutes earlier than had I been out in the parking lot with the other parents.  I want to see just how those teachers rated my parenting abilities and as much as I am concerned with the actual grades, effort surpasses that by far.  I actually went back through the binder of quizzes and tests I keep for my kids to ensure ‘I’ had received a fair grade.  I think I did, but I am still contemplating it.

 

Northern Virginia is like a breeding ground for superior intelligence, or “perceived” superior intelligence, and I feel that pressure.  I often wonder if we had stayed living in Michigan if I would have felt such a need to push my kids.  Don’t get me wrong, Michigan schools are great, but people there are less neurotic and there are far less Asians to compete against (not a racist statement, we all know they rock in math and science).

 

My poor third grader kept asking me if she could see her report card and I told her she could as soon as I felt I had a proper review of how “we” did.  She kept asking me if I was proud and happy, and I was, but I also needed to look for that area where we could improve next quarter.  Both girls asked if I could take them to DQ as a reward for how they did.  I admit, I was confused for a moment….reward them for my superior effort?  Ok, I am going too far and we did go get ice cream, I even got myself a treat (well duh, I deserve it).

 

We also got the Naglieri test results that I have been waiting on for three months.  That was actually pathetic to watch me open; you would have thought it was my kid’s acceptance letter from Yale or my test results saying I didn’t have cancer.  Even with her good score I found myself thinking, gosh we only need 8% more to be perfect, did I feed her well that morning, could she have had a virus that caused her not to be at the top of her game?

 

I am a happy and proud mom and I really feel like I should get a trip to the spa to reward the kids for their great report cards.  When you work at home, it is nice to get some validation for what you do and I am willing to take it any way I can get it.  Am I kidding about this topic?  Well, mostly, but like with any rant there is some truth to what we say and the rest is just darn good blog material!

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