Hallo-Sleaze


My daughter keeps asking if I have made it to the Halloween store yet to get the accessories to go with her genie costume. I haven’t and I am not thrilled about going. For some reason, Halloween has changed from scary and fun to slutty and sleazy. When I enter the Halloween stores it is like entering a brothel. I get that women of a certain age want to be able to show off their goods and Halloween gives them the excuse to do this, I have no problem with that and I say more power to them. My issue is with the costumes for the teens and possibly worse for my 6 and 8 year old girls.

I don’t know what person came up with the idea to start producing slutty costumes for young girls, but my best guess is that a penis is behind it somewhere. Strangely enough I have not seen a trampy Spider Man, Bat Man or Hulk costume, the costumes for boys seem to give full coverage and then some. You know why? Women don’t care to have that thrown in their faces, it may be a surprise to some but there isn’t much less attractive then a penis and testicles.

Recently we got a costume magazine targeted for kids in the mail. The first few pages had adorable costumes that I showed the kids. There is Jesse from Toy Story, a pink princess, Ninja girl or Hermione (pre boobs and sex thoughts). And pages of chubby babies dressed in costumes that will make them itch and cry, but what perky bitch new mom isn’t going to shove her infant into the tiny lion or ladybug costume? It is cute, we all think it is cute and we tolerate it because of that.

I discussed the ‘cute’ options with my kids which got me a good eye roll from one and a clear, “That’s too baby!” from the other child. I then showed them the ‘scary’ costumes. Just look at Zombie Girl or Midnight Bride, wouldn’t those be cool? Apparently anything that covers more than 80% of your body is deemed uncool, just like their mom. So I asked them to look and show me what they like.

Big Mistake! First of all, how do you make Elmo and Cookie Monster slutty? You make the costumes little dresses with matching leg warmers and heels and you give them a beret looking headpiece with Cookie or Elmo’s face on it and you are officially Sexy Sesame Street material! My girls really thought the Monster High costumes were the bomb (ok nobody says “the bomb” anymore which most likely proves how uncool I really am). Once again, supposed to be scary with a hint of cute not a hint of whore.

What’s worse is the poses they are making these young girls do while wearing the costume. I don’t believe a child stands around looking like a street hooker anymore then I believe the Victoria Secret models are comfortable laying on boulders and against trees in their bras and thongs. And what’s with the platforms and the stilettos advertised with the costumes? They aren’t comfortable and the last place kids should be wearing them is running around in the dark from yard to yard where they can twist an ankle or take a header into a bush. I am telling you right now, I predict some class action lawsuits and I am going to jump on board that train!

I do enjoy Halloween and I love having my kids participate in the devilish holiday. I wish costume choices were not slutty, but I also wish I could keep my kids young forever and have a protective shield around them to keep them from ever getting hurt. So I guess rather than bitching about what is out there, I should be doing my best to teach them to make responsible decisions. All this parenting stuff always brings out the common sense and responsibility we must have to be good at our jobs and it makes me tired. For now I am going to make all the slutty costume girls in the magazine ugly by drawing scars on their faces and coloring extra clothes on them. If you can’t beat ‘em, you might as well try to confuse them.

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