Losing My Cool

I hate to lose my cool it’s something that makes me feel like I am out of control.  It has been longer than I can remember since the last time I went off on someone, but today at approximately 3:30PM it happened.  It started out simple enough, I went and got the ice and beer my husband requires on a Friday after work.  I walk up with my kids to the self checkout and am greeted by the giant ‘Welcome’ screen telling me to swipe my customer card.  I scan my ice and beer and have to wait for someone to come verify my age while my kids pull all sorts of candy and gum off the shelf and I have to tell them to stop about five times before they actually do.  The cashier/assistant manager comes to check my ID and hits complete, without any prompting from me the machine processes my debit card and doesn’t give me the option to cancel when I realized the total is way off.  I call her back over and she starts arguing with me about it, I tell her to look at my beer and ice and show me where the other 15 items are that it charged me for on the receipt.  She finally figures it out and takes me to the service desk and says, “I will fix this for you, but you should really be careful and pay more attention to what you are doing”.  I don’t recall exactly what I said to her, but every person in the front on the store turned around to look at her and I.  She finally apologized about the mistake but still wanted to blame me in some way.  She said she has trouble with communication, now that is the understatement of the year.   I gave her some Customer Service 101 and went on my merry way.


To be fair and take some responsibility for losing it, I should tell you that I took my kids shopping earlier today at one of the busiest malls around.  Not just shopping, we went to the American Girl store which is like a cult that brainwashes kids.  What a scam that place is and it is as close to entrapment as you will ever come.  We walked around and looked at the dolls and the accessories and the matching outfits for girl and doll.  Holy Shit, it is worse than Disney!  For some reason there are Asians running all over the place taking pictures of any and every thing.  I am not kidding the signs, the displays, the cash registers, the escalators.  They even sold disposable cameras there, as if the Asians don’t have the most high end technical camera you can buy, they take one look at those disposables and shake their heads, “Stupid Americans!”


I have to say that there is nothing in the store that I would consider reasonable.  The clothes are overpriced and not even made that well.  There is a salon where you can get your dolls hair done and after looking at the prices I can’t believe they don’t come with a happy ending.  One braid is $20!   I was about to set up shop in the hallway and charge $5 for a braid, $10 for an up-do and $15 for a wash and set.   There were so many June clones there I lost count, but each of them showed up with their daughters in their matching girl/doll outfit and looked for the AG Consultant to help them coordinate.  Meanwhile my two are knocking over the displays and then smacking the shit out of each other and yelling about whose fault it is.  The kids wanted to stay and have lunch in the AG Café, I would prefer to have my toes cut off with a dull butter knife, without pain killers.  We moved on to several more children stores and when I couldn’t take any more I bribed them with lunch at Cheesecake Factory down the road.


Lunch was good, but then I decided that I had not had quite enough stress today and went to Costco.  I have a love hate relationship with Costco, I am always going there and I am always pissed off when I leave.  There are certain days and times that I know I need to avoid Costco and Friday afternoon is one of those.  It is beyond busy and instead of manning up the registers with their staff they have them stationed all over the store trying to get me to taste shit that I don’t want.  If you are going to have wine tasting or trial a new beer let me know and I will stop, otherwise leave me to shop.


So it is possible that the cashier/assistant manager with poor English skills did not deserve the bitch smack I gave her, however I am not taking it back.  Get with the program or get out of my way.  Speaking of which, I just got a text to come to happy hour down the street and the only thing stopping me is this  blog.   Now go have yourself a fabulous weekend or at least fake it!


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