You Need Haircut?

I need a haircut so badly, especially before going on vacation.  I am to that point that I am almost ashamed to be going to the salon because it has been that long and my hair looks awful.  Not only is it too long, but the chlorine from the pool, combined with the multiple lice treatments I have given my paranoid self, has left it looking like straw.  I have to say, I like the girl that does my hair, I don’t understand most of what she says, but that’s alright.  I am not one to cherish small talk with people I don’t know, especially when I wind up answering her wrong most of the time because I think she asked if I need a Midol and she really asked me if I watched American Idol.


What I don’t look forward to is the way she asks me about how long it has been since she cut my hair last.  There is something in her pitch and the way she enunciates certain words that makes me feel wrong.  “OHHHH……. you need haircut, when did I cut last?  (Me) Not sure it’s been a while.  Yah, been a LONG while.”  It’s the whole disapproval tone as she is asking the question and the way she hangs the last word in the air to ensure I get what she is talking about.  It’s like when I was learning Spanish and the teacher would say to hold on to the last word and raise your pitch so someone knew when you were asking a question.  It sounds ridiculous, but it’s true.


I started coloring my own hair after I lost my job, I figured that was a good way to save $100 a month and it’s difficult to mess up a solid color.  This is another point of aggravation during my haircut.  “So, you color your own hair?  Yes.  I see that, you don’t want me to color for you?  I just do it myself.  Well, I guess it look ok for you.”  What the fuck does that mean?  Seriously, ‘it look ok for you’????  I don’t correct her English after every sentence, why does she feel the need to throw that little jab in there?  You want your tip?  Then shut your damn mouth and cut my hair.


She always asks me if I am washing my hair everyday, which is confusing.  Is she trying to make me feel bad again or is she trying to give me a tip?  I am not sure and I have started to get tricky with her and ask her a question back, “Should I wash it every day?”   And I don’t want any products from the salon, I don’t care that they will make my hair shine, I stay home with my kids and the grease from their little fingers grabbing at me all the time should give me some kind of glow.  I color my own hair, do you think I am going to buy $20 shampoo or conditioner?


Of course, I have to take the kids with me because I don’t have a choice and I will get the sales pitch about cutting their hair as well.  Last time I fell for that my 5 year olds bang trim cost me $25, plus tip!  No thanks, we are going to the $10 place around the corner, where I am not sure, but I believe your sister may be working.


Well, time to get off the computer and get cracking.  Need to go get my haircut and I should probably have another lice treatment before I go, I can only imagine the disapproval on her finding bugs in my hair, “OHHH… I see bugs in here, you know that dirty?”



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