Bottom line, I am so tired I cannot even begin to be creative or witty. I feel like I have been run over, multiple times. We have been going nonstop for over a week and it is taking its toll on me and the kids. The kids are exhausted, but they don’t quite understand their bodies and are begging me to take them outside where they can search desperately for their friends, or really any kid that looks like they might be a good time. Kids aren’t choosy when they need to play, anyone outside will do which is why we have to continually warn them against strangers. I know if my kids were desperate enough they would accept a play invitation from a serial killer or a rattlesnake.
My parents were in town over the weekend and that is a treat for the kids and I. They step in and I take a back seat to being hung on, followed around and irritated while they are here. It’s always tough when they leave because it’s like quitting crack for me. I go from having peace and time to think, to being full time everything AND dealing with their despair of grandma and grandpa leaving. My mom makes them any special meal that they request and plays every game they ask. My dad shows up with all sorts of shit that no -one needs or wants and the kids love it. “Look, grandpa brought Christmas ornaments and Easter baskets from a garage sale!” Oh great, ask him if he brought me any used underwear or repackaged female products while he was there.
We went straight from all the kid’s end of school events, into my daughter’s recital and then father’s day. I have to admit, I did not have much to give when we got to Sunday and I feel like I need a do-over for my poor husband. He did get to take a two hour nap while I played tennis with the kids(chased balls up and down the street after the kids would hit them under cars and into neighbors flower beds) and then I served him shrimp cocktail with wine and a six pack chaser. I guess it could be worse, at least he has us.
On Monday my friend and I took our four kids to Kings Dominion, it truly was a great day and I now understand why women become lesbians – vacations would be so much easier. There was no irritation when we had to wait in a line, we could have cared less when we had to spend $100 so they could all win one of those dirty ass stuffed animals and if they needed to cry we just let them get it out of their system and we’d move on. She and I did not argue over being patient, or having to stop for the bathroom 12 times in two hours. We just did it and took our time. We actually got there when the park opened and stayed until it just about closed; when the kids would ask how long we would be there we just told them we would figure it out later. So I have a new respect for Ellen, Rosie O and all those other girls who chose to live with other women – more power to you smart bitches!
The late arrival home really screwed me this morning. I started rousting the kids at 7:15 for swim practice and that was like poking a stick in a bee hive. The youngest just cried and said she knew I was going to ruin her life today. The older one just told me I shouldn’t make them have so much fun if they are going to have to get up early the next day. It is unfortunate that they are on to my evil plan of letting them have a wonderful time so I can ruin it by making them get up to go swimming (one of their favorite activities). You know who hated waking up this morning? ME!!!!! I drove the 90 miles each way and chased you guys around the park forcing my ass into some of those tiny kiddie rides to make you feel at ease and I had to get up bright an early after sharing my bed with the two energy suckers. I have no sympathy today.
There’s my past week in a nutshell. I have to assume with my current state of mind and mono-like exhaustion there are all sorts of spelling, grammar and punctuation errors in this post. Don’t bother pointing them out to me, I don’t care and it would only cause me to put you on my “June Watch List”. Go enjoy your summer vacation and kids and look for something a little more stimulating tomorrow.