Last Day of Me


Well it’s finally here, the last day of school.  I am torn on whether to be thrilled or depressed.  Today as I dropped my daughter and her friend off I saw many parents taking photos and videos of their kids making their way into the school.  I also saw a bunch of sad moms crying and holding their hand over their hearts as if they were breaking.  I might start crying too, but it’s not because I am sad my 5 and 7 year olds are done with school, it’s because it marks the end of the 2.75 hours I get to myself each day and it is the beginning of the planning required to entertain my kids every damn day so I can avoid the inevitable, “I AM SO BORED”.  I have plenty for them to do, like help fold laundry (or how about pick up the laundry under your beds), pick up toys, wipe up the urine off the bathroom floor, clean the bathroom sink of toothpaste or entertain each other.

 

I have two kids for a reason, to keep each other occupied.  If you’re bored you have an automatic playmate and since they are both girls there is a bonus as you like the same girly shit.  You can play Uno, board games, Legos, Barbies, Polly Pockets, LPS or any of the other 15,000 toys in your possession.  And guess what, when you get bored or irritated with each other, you have these things called DS which we allowed you to have for that very reason.  Go get them, find a quiet corner and play until your eyes hurt, by that time you should be over your sisterly differences and can play together again.

 

I always think parents are crazy when they tell me they are putting their kids in a different camp every week, but are they?  Their planning is complete for the summer!  I have the girls on swim team, but that’s only three mornings a week and since it starts so darn early, I am certain to have a lot of complaining to go along with that activity.  I really need to hook up with a couple of parents with high tolerance for pain and kids roughly the same age as mine.  Any takers???

 

For now I have to get through the next three days of end of school parties, rehearsals and recital and then I can start to figure out a plan for the summer.  What I really need to do now is figure out how to spend my last 2.75 hours of me time today, it’s a shame Vegas is so far away or that drinking before five is frowned upon in our culture.

 

I am open on ideas for the summer and I am more open to you offering to take my kids for a day.  For  the parents that have children moving on to middle or high school or graduating, get your cry out and then rejoice in the fact that you have raised smart and happy kids.  For you others that are crying because Jimmy is finishing second grade and you will be with him all summer, get an effing grip.  Save your tears for when your husband comes home from work to find you at your wits end and use it to score a girls night out, jewelry or day at the spa.  Let’s be smart about this and use it to our advantage.

 

It’s the first day of the rest of your summer, smile and get to the liquor store before 2:38 when the bell rings.

 

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