Blissful Condolences


I am ending my first official week of blogging by offering my condolences to anyone that I may have offended, or will most definitely offend in the future.  Please note, this is not an apology, as I am not sorry for the way I see things and the way I illustrate them.   It is never my intention to offend anyone, but it happens.  I am the Lynette I always have been, and what you see is what you get.

It’s like when I get a FB friend request from my kid’s friend’s mother.  I feel the muscles in the back of my neck tighten as I am running my mouse back and forth over the Accept button.  I think, “Oh June, do you really want to be my friend?”  June with your pearls and matching sweater sets, your well-balanced meals and perfectly coiffed children.  Do I really want her to see my crazy rantings, my drinking innuendos and talking about how imperfect of a mom I am?  June, June, June, I want to be your friend, I really do, but I am already thinking about how I am going to tell my daughter that Buffy can’t play with her anymore because she is “sick” when you call.

I start to imagine the next PTA meeting where there is the hushed talk, “Do you know Lynette says gang rape and vagina on her blog?”  June likes me, and she secretly laughs at my humor when she is on a vodka binge in the closet, but she cannot publicly condone it.  Then I star to think, will Buffy’s next door neighbor, Sally, be able to play with my child anymore?  I think so, because I saw her mom at the last town green concert and you don’t dance like that in public and then ban your kid from playing with the dirty talking blog mom.

All of this running through my mind as I have spent 30 minutes running the mouse over that Accept button.  Finally, I think, screw it June can be my “friend” and she can just as easily un-friend me if she wants.  It won’t hurt my feelings in the least and I would actually respect that.  I am filtered when I am around the June’s of the world, to some point anyway, and my blog is my little get away.

I was going to end with a bliss comment, but quite frankly I am running low on creativity and I am fighting a wine headache this morning.  Happy Friday, enjoy your weekend and I will be back next week.

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4 responses to “Blissful Condolences

  • TracyKS

    I think we should celebrate your first week as Blog Queen with an island party. Hats off to you! You invite June & I’ll get the vodka out of the freezer.

  • BFF Sue

    Lynette,
    My next charitable donation will be toward red wine research. Do you think we could write a research grant and begin doing our own study? In fact, because I’m such a go-getter, I will begin tonight. I also plan to look into some fund raising opportunities…

  • BFF Sue

    By begin tonight, I mean the red wine hangover study…not grant writing yet. I do have my priorities.

  • connie

    I can’t tell you how many times I’ve hovered over a friend request thinking the same thing. In the end though, I have come to the same conclusion … I will friend them and then maybe they will unfriend me. And when they do, I will pretend it doesn’t matter, but secretly, it will bother me just the tinest bit. That’s where the wine comes in! LOL xoxxo

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